"I'm not not moving on"

I mean, it's legit. That's what people do right? They move on. Why does that seem like such an incredibly hard idea for me to grasp? Not having him is almost tolerable..but moving on. I could almost laugh at it. All I can do is breathe my way through today, and tomorrow, and the next few days after that..and maybe by then it'll be just a little bit easier.

Maybe it's for the best too.
I so badly want to backspace that.
But maybe it is. I mean..I know how much I have to offer someone, how much love I am more than willing to give.
So what happens when the kind of love that you want to give someone isn't the kind of love that they need. I have been loving the same boy, unashamedly for over three years now, and everyday it gets clearer and clearer that it just isn't right.

So what, do I live the single 20's life? That's cool, I guess. Oh God, do I have to go through unrequited love again, like in high school? Are people going to (want to) take me out on dates?

I don't want any of those things. But, I guess that's what life is going to give me.

So when I see you
In spite of all that we've become
I'm still blinded
But I'm still staring down the sun